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School was challenging, Mary and I went to the same school, and of course I had the teachers and friends constantly asking how she was, and looking back the school and teachers were amazing to both of us, but I sometimes felt that everyone was concerned about Mary but no one wanted to know how I was!!!!!
This has been a difficult issue for me to deal with. I am lucky that I am a very grounded, confident person, but I believe that if I had a different character it would have been much harder and many more problems for our family could have arisen. The one thing I have always had a problem with however was the attention and support Mary received compared to me. I understand that Mary has been to hell and back, and I would never wish that on anyone, but since we first recognized the illness in Mary 7 years ago, I have only received one letter from a family friend asking how I am coping. Mary understandably received hundreds, but I used to feel so guilty about being angry about it, and have had to learn that it's ok to be angry, it's ok to need your parents, and if that means crying on their shoulder, even though they already have so much to deal with, well that's fine, and from my experience they will be grateful you have rather than you bottle it up.
I am now studying in Leeds, in my second year at university and loving every minute of it. Mary and I are very close again, in fact she came up and stayed this year and it was one of the best weekends I've ever had. Mary's illness has caused much heartache, but it has also been an amazing learning curve and has tested our family to the edge of survival. Being a sibling of someone suffering from an eating disorder is much harder than I think most people realize. I am lucky that I am a member of a fantastic family, and I am happy with my self, but there are moments of great isolation, depression, anger and hatred, but very little support. I felt I had very few people to turn to, and no one professional, and I only hope this will change for other siblings.
Zoe
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